Saturday 20 September 2008

Russian 20th Century rifles...who'd have one, eh?

Here is a little piece that made me chuckle. Hopefully it will do the same for you.

I found it on the  www.historicalwargaming.com  website. I hope they don't mind that I've reproduced it here so there are the credits at both top and bottom to avoid any copyright problems.   

And to keep this post from becoming just a boring news spread, I'm sharing an amusing article I read on the Modern Crossfire Yahoo Discussion group:

AK-47: It works though you have never cleaned it. Ever.
AR-15: You have $9 per ounce special non-detergent synthetic Teflon infused oil for cleaning.
Mosin-Nagant: It was last cleaned in Berlin in 1945.

AK-47: You are able to hit the broad side of a barn from inside.
AR-15: You are able to hit the broad side of a barn from 600 meters.
Mosin-Nagant: You can hit the barn from two miles away.

AK-47: Cheap mags are fun to buy.
AR-15: Cheap mags melt.
Mosin-Nagant: What's a mag?

AK-47: Your safety can be heard from 300 meters away.
AR-15 You can silently flip off the safety with your finger on the trigger.
Mosin-Nagant: What's a safety?

AK-47: Your rifle comes with a cheap nylon sling.
AR-15: Your rifle has a 9-point stealth tactical suspension system.
Mosin-Nagant: Your rifle has a dog collar.

AK: Your bayonet makes a good wire cutter.
AR-15: Your bayonet is actually a pretty good steak knife.
Mosin-Nagant: Your bayonet is longer than your leg.

AK-47: You can put a .30" hole through 12" of oak.
AR-15: You can put one hole in a paper target at 100 meters with 10 rounds.
Mosin-Nagant: You knock down everyone else's target with the shockwave of your bullet going downrange.

AK-47: When out of ammo, your rifle will nominally pass as a club.
AR-15: When out of ammo, your rifle makes a great wiffle bat.
Mosin-Nagant: When out of ammo, your rifle makes a supreme war club, pike, boat oar, tent pole, or firewood.

AK-47: Recoil is manageable, even fun.
AR-15: What's a recoil?
Mosin-Nagant: Recoil is often used to fix shoulders dislocated by the previous shot.

AK-47: Your sight adjustment goes to 10, and you've never bothered moving it.
AR-15: Your sight adjustment is incremented in fractions of minute of angle.
Mosin-Nagant: Your sight adjustment goes to 2000 meters, and you've actually tried it. 

AK-47: Your rifle can be used by any two-bit nation's most illiterate conscripts to fight elite forces worldwide.
AR-15: Your rifle is used by elite forces worldwide to fight two-bit nations' most illiterate conscripts.
Mosin-Nagant: Your rifle has fought against itself - and won everytime.

AK-47: Your rifle won some revolutions.
AR-15: Your rifle drove Saddam out of Kuwait.
Mosin-Nagant: Your rifle won a pole vault event.

AK-47: You paid $330.
AR-15: You paid $900.
Mosin-Nagant: You paid $59.95.

AK-47: You buy cheap ammo by the case.
AR-15: You lovingly reload precision crafted rounds one by one.
Mosin-Nagant: You dig your ammo out of a farmer's field in Ukraine and it works just fine.

AK-47: You can intimidate your foe with the bayonet mounted.
AR-15: Your foes laugh when you mount your bayonet.
Mosin-Nagant: You can bayonet your foe on the other side of the stream without leaving the comfort of your hole.

AK-47: Any fool can be taught to field strip it.
AR-15: Anyone with an IQ over 160 can be taught to field strip it.
Mosin-Nagant: What's field stripping?

AK-47: Service life, 50 years.
AR-15: Service life, 40 years.
Mosin-Nagant: Service life, 101 years, and counting.

AK-47: It's easier to buy a new rifle when you want to change cartridge sizes.
AR-15: You can change cartridge sizes with the push of a couple of pins and a new upper.
Mosin-Nagant: You believe no real man would dare risk the ridicule of his friends by suggesting there is anything but 7.62x54 R.

AK-47: You can repair your rifle with a big hammer and a swift kick.
AR-15: You can repair your rifle by taking it to a certified gunsmith, if it's under
warranty!
Mosin-Nagant: If your rifle breaks, you pick up another one.

AK-47: You consider it a badge of honor when you get your handguards burst into
flames.
AR-15: You consider it a badge of honor when you shoot a sub-MOA 5 shot group.
Mosin-Nagant: You consider it a badge of honor when you cycle 5 rounds without the aid of a 2x4.

AK-47: You can accessorize you rifle with a new muzzle brake or a nice stock set.
AR-15: Your rifle's accessories are eight times more valuable than your rifle.
Mosin-Nagant: Your rifle's accessory is a small tin can with a funny lid, but it's buried under an apartment building somewhere in Budapest.

AK-47: Your rifle's finish is varnish and paint.
AR-15: Your rifle's finish is Teflon and high-tech polymers.
Mosin-Nagant: Your rifle's finish is low-grade shellac, cosmoline, and Olga's toe nail polish.

AK-47: After cleaning your rifle you have a strong urge for a stiff shot of vodka.
AR-15: After cleaning your rifle you have a strong urge for hot dogs and apple pie.
Mosin-Nagant: After cleaning your rifle you have a strong urge for shishkabob.

AK-47: After a long day the range, you relax by watching Red Dawn.
AR-15: After a long day at the range, you relax by watching Black Hawk Down.
Mosin-Nagant: After a long day at the range, you relax by visiting the chiropractor.

AK-47: Late at night you sometimes have to fight the urge to hold your rifle over your head and shout "Wolverines!"
AR-15: Late at night you sometimes have to fight the urge to clear your house, slicing the pie from room to room.
Mosin-Nagant: Late at night, you sometimes have to fight the urge to dig a fighting trench in the yard to sleep in.

AK-47: Your wife tolerates your autographed framed picture of Mikhail Kalashnikov.
AR-15: Your wife tolerates your autographed framed picture of Eugene Stoner.
Mosin-Nagant: Are there even photographs of Sergi Ivanovich Mosin and Leon Nagant?

A link to the Modern Crossfire Yahoo Discussion group:

http://games.groups.yahoo.com/group/moderncrossfire/

(I didn't put the link there but it seemed the decent thing to do so I'm following suit.)

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